Disclaimer:- This blog is about some really heavy themes like Existentialism, Death, etc and given the situation of the world right now, the content of this blog might trigger some people who are already stressed and anxious, so proceed with caution and please be safe and focus on being healthy.
Day in and Day out we are hearing news about so many people dying or getting affected by this awful coronavirus pandemic and even though I am a stupidly optimistic guy all of this has been affecting my mind a little and with this lockdown, in place, I have nothing but my own thought to think over and one of the thought that has been constantly crossing my mind is death. By that, I mean death as a concept and how it affects our lives. It all started when I heard the news that Irfan Khan sir and Rishi Kapoor sir two of the biggest actors of our country passed away amidst the coronavirus pandemic which already affected our lives pretty badly so this is basically me working through that thought and telling you guys what my conclusion is with this thought that I am having.
Now, I will be completely honest here this is not the first time have been thinking about death. This idea of death has crossed my mind before but the conclusion I came up with back then was very negative because back then I wasn't in a good place mentally but now I am doing great mental Healthwise and that idea of death has gone away. Now, of course, losing someone you care about is very sad but when going into this topic I looking to take something positive or at least something bittersweet out of this little thought experiment of mine. After thinking about it for a few days the only thing made sense to me was that Death is the only definite thing that is going to happen in our life and it is also the thing that gives our life any meaning.
The first part is very obvious and everybody knows that everything that has ever existed in this world will end someday and I am not just talking about our earth I am talking about the universe itself. One day everything in this universe will be swallowed by a black hole and even those black holes will eventually evaporate and this will be the dark age of the universe and as far as we know that's it nothing comes after that and this is no hypothetical or anything this stuff is real. Everything has an end to it, you and I both are going to die someday and there is nothing we can do about it. So in my opinion stressing over the inevitability of death is rather pointless because we have no control over. But there is something that scares me more than death itself which is related to the second part.
To understand what that scary thing is I want you to imagine something. Imagine you are resting on a hospital bed surrounded by your loved ones and maybe one of your children is holding your and you know that your time has come you brace yourself for the final goodbyes and slowly but surely your senses start to go blurry, you feel the fuzziness and slowly everything starts to go grey and as the death takes you into her arms, your mind goes into this uncaring, unending dark void and that's it. Your one and only life ends their and nothing comes after that. But before this, there is a brief moment where think back to life that you have lived and in that specific moments two things can happen either you are satisfied with the life that you experienced or filled with regret that your life doesn't turn out the way you wanted. This moment of retrospection over my own life on my death bed is my biggest fear, hell I am getting a little anxious while I write this because you see the start of my life wasn't in my control and end of life is also not in my control but what I can control is the middle part and the fact that it will not go on forever gives that middle part meaning. The fact that my time on this earth is limited gives me the motivation to do the things I want to do and finish them on time. So in a way death becomes my ultimate motivator because I know my time is ticking and This gives my life a sense of meaning and purpose. In the end, just like everyone, I have my hopes and dreams to fulfil, I want to get a job and start my career, I want to make my parents proud, I want to buy a house and move in with someone I love, I want to hopefully be a good father someday, I want to write a book as a side gig and eventually sell the movie rights of that book to some greedy Bollywood studio and they will make a bad movie out of it because that's just what Bollywood does, I want to earn money and play this stupid capitalist game and if my time wasn't limited on the earth would I be bothered to do any of that? the answer is no because there will always be tomorrow. Death inspires me like hunger inspires a lion to hunt.
So, a dark, uncaring void is waiting for you at the end of the line? Great! so in the meantime here are some greater goals to achieve, friends to make, amazing people to date and love and good food to eat. Again life is too short to waste time, sit around or hate someone, you have only one shot to create a life that is close to your vision of a perfect life, so do the things you wanna do and I hope you have a successful and fulfiling life. Be awesome and inspire others to be the best version of themselves so that when you are on that hospital bed, instead of a regretful end let it be a welcome rest after so many years of hardship and yelling into oblivion.
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